Did the Jets just lose to the Dolphins by 21? And was someone mocking them Gangnam Style?
The succession of catastrophic plays that knocked the Jets out of yesterday’s game 16 minutes in was so swift as to render memories of it hazy and fragmented, like a bad dream.
Something about the Jets’ offensive line failing to pick up blitzes, and Mark Sanchez failing to pick up that his line had failed to pick up those blitzes, comes to mind.
So does an image of Tim Tebow missing a block on the punt team in his vaguely biblical-sounding role of “Personal Protector,” which resulted in a Dolphins touchdown, just about canceling whatever good he's done on offense since arriving in New York.
Also, something about Antonio Cromartie backsliding into airheadedness by getting drawn into a 15-yard personal foul penalty by Reggie Bush.
Also, maybe I was dreaming, but was a fellow named Olivier Vernon performing something called a Gangnam Style dance in front of the MetLife faithful?
A minute into the second quarter, the Dolphins were up 17-0, but the images of the nightmare continued to unspool, on the way to a final score of 30-9.
There was Mike Westhoff massaging his eye-sockets, as if to unsee the day’s work of his unit. Westhoff’s special teams units have been a stalwart for the Jets in recent years; going into yesterday, the Jets ranked first in FootballOutsiders’ DVOA rankings. A blocked punt, a blocked field goal, a recovered onside kick, and a big return, and an aggravation to Joe McKnight later, not so much.
“That’s the worst day in my whole career,” a dazed Westhoff told reporters afterward.
Then there was Bush conveniently being chased out of bounds in Rex Ryan’s direction. In retribution for Rex’s now-infamous “hot sauce” remark, Bush took the opportunity to rattle Rex’s cage, and got the angry but impotent bark he was looking for.
Still, at least that sprung Rex to life. That’s better than the wan look Jets fans have become all too familiar look on their newly deflated and bestubbled coach.
At around this time, CBS analyst Dan Fouts felt emboldened enough to tear into the Jets’ usage of Tebow (“I just don’t see a lot of creativity here,” he said) before going on to reprove the idea of having two quarterbacks in the first place: “That’s what happens. You can’t have two quarterbacks.”
It’s not surprising that Fouts would have a visceral reaction to what Tony Sparano is doing to the 2012 Jets. After all, Fouts became a Hall of Famer under coach Don Coryell’s innovative “Air Coryell” offense, which was about as innovative in its day as Sparano’s Ground and Pound is retrograde now.
With the clock winding down, another Hall of Fame quarterback weighed in.
“I’m curious to hear… Who do you #Jets fans think is to blame for the team’s play?” @RealJoeNamath, always a man of the people, inquired on Twitter.
Several minutes later, in response to what one presumes were dozens of replies that came back fast and furious, Namath wrote, “I agree. With all of you.”
The final insult came courtesy of Dolphins guard Richie Incognito, long regarded as one of the dirtiest and most mentally unstable players in the game, when he capped a week of petty trash-talk between the teams by waving farewell to the Jets and blowing them kisses.
If only it were just a dream.