The focus is on Eli Manning, but those crazy glasses aren’t

Today's tabloids, Dec. 30, 2011. ()
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Each day, the New York tabloids vie to sell readers at the newsstands on outrageous headlines, dramatic photography, and, occasionally, great reporting. Who is today's winner?

Daily News: Want to read about the New York Giants? Well first, please consider the Sears After Christmas Appliance Event.

On a field of light blue with wispy snowflake symbols are a red washer-dryer and a big stainless-steel three-door refrigerator. Kenmore appliances are up to 25 percent off, Whirlpool and KitchenAid are 10 percent off, and an extra 15 percent gets lopped off all appliances over $499 if you use your Sears card. All of this is featured in a flap that folds up from the bottom of the page and spans the spine.

So really, to read the story on the bottom of the front page of the News today, you have to either conduct a rather large operation or be invasive—that is, tear it off.

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Beneath: The News' Gary Myers thinks it is a total joke that the Dallas Cowboys, who come up against the Giants this weekend, are called "America's Team." Luckily any reader who despairs of fiding news under all that ad junk on the front can find the same story on the back sports page.

Iowa's happening right now, and you might say that the most important task ahead of Mitt Romney is to make a respectable showing there, whatever the media deems that to be, and then to win the New Hampshire primary. But jumping ahead a bit: A poll finds that Romney has a six-point lead over Barack Obama in a hypothetical match-up. There's a picture of Mitt smiling with every tooth, and a picture of Barack Obama looking a little bit like he's about to scold his kid for doing something bad but funny and is trying to hold back the laughter. Perfect choices! "MITT HAPPENS!" is the very excited headline.

New York Post: In case you had forgotten from 2010, the way America's New Year's Eve novelty-glasses industry is dealing with the 21st century's unfortunate second-decade problem—10 years with a 1 in the third digit—is to make all the numbers really fat and stupid looking, and to stick a big eyehole in the bottom of the 1.

In a "NY Post photo composite," Eli Manning is Photoshopped to appear to be wearing a particularly odious pair (the pains taken extend to the temples, which wrap around his face and appear to disappear behind his ears in a nice little silhouetting job). "HAPPY BLUE YEAR" reads the hed. "Giants out to lasso Cowboys & division."

Let's all just admit that slapping a giant football curtain-raiser is a nice way to ensure a relaxing Friday before it's time to hit the pavement at Times Square with a pair of those suckers and enjoy the crowds and noise and terrible live performances and miserable weather and tacky surroundings of the traditional New Year's Eve. Have a great one, Eli!

Observations: Well, Mitt happened. I find myself a little bit confused as to why this story wasn't the one to be hidden behind the refrigerator at the bottom of the page. The Post may not be giving us much, but what do we really want today? Just as a matter of due diligence I flicked through both papers to see if they'd made any real choices in order to choose these fronts. They didn't: Today's just slow. As it happens, I think the stupid glasses are more the order of the day than anything else on either front.

Winner: New York Post.