2:23 pm Jun. 4, 2012
Each day, the New York tabloids vie to sell readers at the newsstands on outrageous headlines, dramatic photography, and, occasionally, great reporting. Who is today's winner?
Daily News: I'll admit that I have a soft spot for "MAYO MIKE." It's a decent pun, but more than that, it sounds like baby talk, which I irrationally find very funny.
Of course it's not exactly catching the mayor out to get him to admit that he likes a B.L.T. with extra mayo every now and then—once a month, he says—since he himself offered it up as a way of defending himself against the "nanny" line the soda lobby is now using against him. But it's a little upsetting that a tiny, tiny B.L.T. has been Photoshopped onto Michael Bloomberg's picture, right under a fork. (Who eats a B.L.T. with a fork?)
The rest of the page is ho-hum, make-work, Sunday-for-Monday national headlines: The gay cannibal from Montreal and the fact that Bill Maher has bought a small stake in the New York Mets.
New York Post: Which is what makes it especially disappointing that Maher is actually the lead story on the Post this morning, complete with the obvious and uninspiring headline "MR. MET." I'm not sure when a cover of the Post has looked this insipid, with the square head-shot of Maher in a Mets cap, framed by a banner reporting Amar'e Stoudemire's engagement and a strip along the left side featuring Kate Middleton in a bright red outfit.
"Well 'red' Kate," reads the headline hovering around her hemline; it's a pun that goes nowhere.
This is all brought on by Queen Elizabeth's Jubilee Year. I am trained to think that nothing that is called a Jubilee is worth much jubilation, any more than a jamboree or a festival. I know there's enough British DNA in both tabloids for me to know that this won't actually get me anywhere, but I'll just repeat what aging pop star Morrissey recently said about Kate Middleton and her prince about a year and a half ago: "William and Kate are so dull as people that it is actually impossible to discuss them."
Observations: Summer Mondays are the absolute worst for the tabloids. Unless they've been storing up something exclusive that happens to want to hit on a Monday, or huge pun-worthy news breaks on a Sunday, you've got the Sunday staff going through the motions to get up something plausible for the morning. At least on Friday, when nobody cares either, there are movie reviews you can put up there.
I give it to the News for the headline, and because they made something out of nothing, instead of just making nothing out of nothing. It's not good, but it's good enough.
Winner: Daily News.