Slow news day? Serial killer and a frozen car (plus Oprah half-sister) struggle to get out of bed
Today's tabloids, Jan. 25, 2011.
10:59 am Jan. 25, 20112
Each day, the New York tabloids vie to sell readers at the newsstands on outrageous headlines, dramatic photography, and, occasionally, great reporting. Who is today's winner?
Daily News: It's been a little while since there was news out of the investigation into the four bodies found on a desolate stretch of beach on the south shore of Long Island's Nassau County, but today police report that the bodies have all been identified as known missing persons. They have a few things in common: All of them are petite, and all of them advertised their services as escorts on Craigslist. Police see a pattern, and are saying they are now looking for a serial killer.
The deaths are not particularly recent, and they were not murdered in a spree, which leaves open the question of when the bodies were dumped on the beach; but there are no leads yet reported in the News article.
Serial killers are good business for tabloids—which makes me wonder why the Post doesn't seem to be in on the game. "HE'S OUT THERE" reads the big knockout type on a black field, wrapped around photos of the four women found dead. "HUNT FOR SEASIDE SLAYER" reads the white type on a red stripe across the top—which is not strictly accurate, since the location of the murders isn't yet clear. "Cops say four craigslist hookers killed by same psycho" is the less-than-objective dek.
In Celebrity World there was news yesterday too—broken by Oprah Winfrey on her own show. It seems that she has a half-sister named Patricia! Again. That is, she already discovered a half-sister named Patricia years ago, but she has since died. The new one, also named Patricia, is not disclosing her last name. If she did not exist, Oprah would invent her.
The New York Post: The "Icicle Audi" was an internet and television meme yesterday (and a print meme: the Post ran an internal photo of the vehicle parked in the east village covered in ice). So what makes it the wood today? The entire wood? In fact it wasn't till yesterday afternoon that the owner of the car was able to finally drive his car to a dealership. But that's not the news the Post broadcasts on its cover: instead, it's just the fact that it happened at all. "HONEY I FROZE THE CAR" is the headline. It's a great picture—and it's yesterday's news.
Observations: Slow news day is what's happening here, but it does seem like at least some national news or celebrity news might have made it to the cover of the Post instead of the Icicle Audi. Today's an easy win.
Winner: Daily News.
I absolutely agree. Grisly murders and serial killers are what makes tabloids fun to read. That's what gave us "Headless Body Found in Topless Bar". That piece of genius is the kind of stuff that makes tabs so wonderful! So, while I agree that the News wins hands down, I feel like they didn't milk the full potential of a maybe-serial killer. It seems like could have gone smarmier than "cops say craigslist hookers killed by same psycho." Ice-T could burst into the squad room of the SVU and come out with a better tagline than that. I'm also not crazy about "Seaside Slayer: is the best serial killer moniker they could have cooked up. I understand that Craigslist killer is taken- or was that in a movie or something? Can't remember. In any event, it lacks the kind of sensationalist panache a media-issues serial killer pseudonym should have. Sure, there's alliteration, but not much menace or perversion comes out. "Slayer" and its variations have been drained of their sinister connotations by tabloids already. What about the "Beachside Butcher"? Not much better, but that's right off the top of my head. Someone somewhere in the Kingdom of Tabloidia should be able to do better than than me or the News did with this.
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