Capital New York

Each day, the New York tabloids vie to sell readers at the newsstands on outrageous headlines, dramatic photography, and, occasionally, great reporting. Who is today's winner?

The New York Post: A day later, the paper has found its voice on the Wikileaks document dump. But what is it saying? "WIKILEAKS OUTRAGE" is the little rubric, in a red box, at the top of today's wood; but it doesn't appear the paper is calling the leaks outrageous, so much as describing a reaction of outrage in Washington toward the leaks. "AMERICA'S RED FACE" reads the main, bold type, which is knockout white on black with the exception of the word "RED." Funny: One could have imagined this headline with the attendant large picture of a peeved Hillary Clinton as an indictment of her beliefs on healthcare. Anyway, next is a deck: "Humiliated Hill in 'spin' cycle on revelations."

Of course the problem with all this is that precisely this cover could have been used yesterday. In fact, it would have been a lot better than "WIK-ED," yesterday's entry that nobody could read. And despite the efforts of a text lead jumping from the front that reads "A furious and embarrassed Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton was in all-out damage-control mode yesterday, trying to …", we all know that Clinton has been talking to people about this since the weekend, not since "yesterday."

If you suspect that you will find little new in the coverage of the story inside, you'll be largely confirmed. There are more quotes from Washington folks—some of which actually were available before press time for yesterday's paper. The main story is built around statements made by Clinton yesterday, to the effect that "specific actions" which remain unspecified are about to be undertaken to prevent leaks in the future and to prosecute the abetment of these leaks, which have been attributed to Bradley Manning, a 23-year-old Army private, who downloaded the documents onto discs he had labeled "Lady Gaga," presumably under the cover that he was listening to the music on the same Lady Gaga CD while in fact he was using the CD to download documents and ferry them home each day. (Note to prolific commenters everywhere: No "C.I.A. bungling" involved here!) Somehow I think Hillary's "specific actions" go beyond prosecuting Pvt. Manning.

Of course, even employing standard protocols, the Post doesn't believe a word of it. In an editorial with a headline that evinces the novelty of the name "Wikileaks" to Post headline writers ("Wikiscalps needed"), the board scoffs at Eric Holder's ability to cause heads to roll for this, though they encourage it. I'll rewrite the first sentence of the editorial as I imagine it was thought by writers: "The Obama administration says it's going to take 'aggressive [wiki]steps against those who stole' more than 250,000 classified State Department wikicables and gave them to the wikinihilists at WikiLeaks, which then wikidumped them onto the worldwide Wiki." (By the way: I love the battle against nihilists. It sounds very 19th-century St. Petersburg.)

Daily News: So maybe the News is, nowadays, a pretty purely local paper. The question is just whether that means that lacking any other news, sports must take over the front page. Yesterday, Mike Bloomberg got his waiver to appoint Cathie Black schools chancellor. This story has been front-page news for the paper before, so why not now? A small square on the front, in knockout text on bright blue, reads "Black on top: CATHIE GETS STATE OK." But the page is dominated by a picture of Yankees pitcher Andy Pettitte. "HIT BY PITCH!" reads the slightly puzzling headline. The dek clarifies: "Nolan tries to lure Andy back to Texas." The Major League Baseball horsetrading season is in full swing, to be sure. And Texas Rangers' Nolan Ryan, the paper points out, would only be trying to lure Pettitte back if they are counting on the Yankees successfully poaching Cliff Lee. The problem: "The idea is to add an elite starter this offseason, not replace one with another. Pettitte may be turning 39 next season, but considering the way he has pitched the last two postseasons, he still has to be considered a top of the line performer." Ryan is clearly making it difficult for them to do both.

But, there is a more inane sports story to talk about: that of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady's hair. It seems that his model wife, Gisele Bundchen, who probably got him into his current embarrassing Justin Bieber-style tresses in the first place, is stressing out about his developing bald patch. Hair transplant surgery could be in the works! To dramatize the situation, a photo of Brady on the front page is manipulated to make him look bald. Because, that would be embarrassing! But then, so too are these steps he is taking in hair couture! We hate the Patriots!

Observations: I sometimes ask some friends what they think of the front pages without giving them any hints as to my own thoughts, especially when a front page is covered with sports stories. They interest me or don't interest me almost as a random matter; what do people who know about sports think? This morning I got a very short response. "DN is garbagey." Since this confirmed my initial feelings about it I didn't inquire any further. The Andy Pettitte trade possibility is listed as an "EXCLUSIVE," but the News, for my money, can have it all to itself. Especially if they keep it on the  back page. Come to that, the Tom Brady hairline story is just an embarrassing bit of lame gossip about a non-New Yorker. By editor Convey's rules, ribbing the Patriots is presumably a local matter because we hate them. The thing is that we've always been a little classier about this sort of thing than his alma mater, the Boston Herald. And knowing that Convey is a Pats fan just makes the thing reek all the more of false consciousness. Keep the Boston-New York rivalry off the front page until there is a game to talk about, please. The Cathie Black squib could have been blown up; where is all the News' righteous indignation on behalf of certified Educational Experts today? The fact that the Post today produced the wood they should have produced yesterday is not really significant; it's a powerful and compelling-looking package. I think people will pick this up instead of the News even if they can't read.

Winner: The New York Post.

Tom McGeveran

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