A voters' guide to today's tabloids
Today's tabloids, Sept. 14, 2010.
11:29 am Sep. 14, 2010
Each day, the New York tabloids vie to sell readers at the newsstands on outrageous headlines, dramatic photography, and, occasionally, great reporting. Who is today's winner?
The New York Post: "Boot the scoundrels!" And then … what? If you've already been to the polls then the handy guide to the races where "BUMS" are trying to get reelected won't be of much use to you. But then, even if you'd read this, what would you do?
"BUMS AWAY" reads the main hed. The bums are:
- Charlie Rangel
- Pedro Espada
- Bill Perkins
- Hiram Monserrate
So what to do? Well, in the case of Bill Perkins—the only member of the "Bum List" that is not facing an actual ethics probe or criminal charges but simply is against charter schools—that's easy. Vote for his opponent, Basil Smikle! In all of the rest of the cases—with the possible exception of Hiram Monserrate—the rest are either bums or not particularly distinguished either. Anyway the whole set-up here is clearly to vote against, not for. Give the Post someone to root for, somebody!
More bums! Coming off a weekend of practice that has resulted in a firestorm from a sexy victim, the New York Jets lost in rather pathetic fashion. (Mark Sanchez appears not to know what it means near the end of the game when the numbers on the game clock are getting smaller!) "Gang Green heartbreak" is the display. But if you'd rather forget about how ill-served you are by your elected officials and by your local pro-sports teams, consider cocooning yourself in the enormous enclosed Page Six magazine.
Daily News: Yup, here too. But the News uses lots more words. "THE NEWS SAYS, GO TO THE POLLS AND THROW THE BUMS OUT! Today's primary is your chance to change things—don't blow it," reads the wood, in total. What's interesting here is that their bums list includes two outer-boroughs candidates—Shirley Huntley and Adriano Espaillat—that don't make the Post's list and one very conspicuous absence: Charlie Rangel. Is the News getting soft on the old guy?
They add a frisson of Joanna Molloy doing her best Andrea-Peyser-Goes-to-College routine on the front, too; she's lambasting the Jets for their frat-like behavior. And another sports reacharound: The Yankees lost.
Observations: Well, look, it's great when the tabloids find their civic spirit. But it's of course a lot more fun if the primary starts to be about taking their favorite political targets and sending them back to their civilian lives. Just the same, we're puzzled both by Bill Perkins' inclusion in one list and Charlie Rangel's exclusion from the other. If the tabloids are getting some business done here, essentially repeating their nonendorsements or endorsements or whatever, then maybe it should be in the editorial page.
It's too bad primary day is so unsexy to so many of their readers. It follows, then, that I think the winner today is the paper that said the most in the fewest words about it, even if I could have wished for a few more words on the inside to make up for it.
Winner: The New York Post
